WARNING: WHINY BLOG ENTRY AHEAD
you know what i really miss about non-working life?
TIME TO RELAX, TO DO MY OWN THINGS.
im at work from 8.30am to 5pm everyday, and even if i dont end late, i still feel like the evenings/nights are way too short for me to accomplish anything. it doesnt help that im always so tired after a long day at work that i cant really relax, and there's that feeling of dread of having to repeat the same thing again in a matter of hours.
i havent watched a movie for god knows how long, not only cos i'd probably fall asleep in the cinema, but I also feel that my time is too precious to be wasting it on a movie.
i have to cater to the needs of others once im out of work, and it wears me down. i dont have time for myself, time to just do what i want to do, like laze in bed with a good book. i used to finish a book in a matter of 2-3 days. now i cant even finish one in 2 weeks.
ok so im working, so im EXPECTED not to have a life anymore, not to have time anymore... right? i dont know, it all feels so wrong.
i love my colleagues, and i generally love my work (except when pple delay and the workload builds up). but...... its still so damn hard to drag myself out of bed every morning, to psych myself up for it.
im torn.. part of me wants to go back to studying, the other knows that i've found a good, reputable job and that i should hang on to it. and i guess you could say another part of me wants to just go back to those post-thesis days where i bummed around, woke up whatever time i wanted, had the whole day to myself and did whatever the hell i wanted.
its 11.30pm, i'm only gonna get about 7hrs slp (which is not enough considering I havent slept well for the past few days), and I know that tmr is gonna be yet another long day spent counting down to the weekends.
SIGH.
good night world.
