i really envy those pple who love their job.
i feel somewhat guilty saying this.. but i dont feel satisfied with my job. others are gonna come tell me, 'come on, this is such a great opportunity! its MOE lei, so prestigeous!' etc.
but, after 2 months of working here.. even though i like the people.. why do i still feel so empty and so lost?
maybe after the failed interview on fri, i feel like i dont have any purpose being here anymore. the whole point was to further my studies in educational psych. if i cant even do that, then why i am here? of course i can major in other areas of psych, but that means im not really in the appropriate job now.
i dont know. i dont know what to think anymore.
i feel so unmotivated. its a chore to drag myself out of bed to work everyday. and everyday i just count down the hours till its time to go home.
and i ask myself why?
i used to love this job. for the first 1 month plus. and then somewhere along the way it changed. and i dont know why.
i feel disillusioned and just tired. the selfish part of me wants to go back to those lazy, carefree days where i could wake up anytime i wanted and do whatever i wanted the whole day. i know thats not realistic, obviously i cant live that way for the rest of my life.
still.. part of me really craves some sort of break. perhaps i need to sort things out.. i am very much alone in this.. i need direction, need focus, need the old me back...