sick cycle carousel

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

wisdom tooth wounds taking forever to heal.. and its giving me alot of problems in the meantime cos i cant eat properly.

yesterday there was some white gooey stuff stuck in the deep wound on my right which i just couldnt get out.. i think it was causing an infection cos the side of my face was swelling and hurt quite badly..

luckily this morning seems better after rinsing, but not sure if i should go to the dentist to get it checked out just in case.. its a good thing my dentist is in town, which is like 10 mins from my workplace.

midwk and the last day of sept.. 3 more months to go at moe.. but who knows what the near future holds? i've told myself i should stop complaining abt work when alot of pple are still struggling to find a job.. just wish it wasnt so competitive everywhere in s'pore.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

YAY!!! I WANT!!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

graduation day.
nice being with all the psych pple again :)
took quite a few pics, will upload on facebk soon.

long day so wont blog much.. tired.

just wanna put down a list of things that i want to eat/drink.
YES I CAN FINALLY EAT.
although its damn troublesome after tt cos all the food gets stuck in the holes, but heck.

1. ~~casurina prata~~
2. ~~pow sing chicken rice~~
3. ~~parkway parade beef noodles~~
4. ~~snow ice~~
5. ~~pontian wanton mee~~
6. ~~bishan crabstick pancake~~
7. adam rd nasi lemak
8. ~~b&j's strawberry milkshake~~
9. s'goon gdn mkt hokkien mee
10. ~~mac's double cheeseburger~~
11. ~~carl's jr portebello burger~~
12. ~~casurina milo dinosaur~~
13. shaker fries (i have the seaweed packs muahahaha)
14. ~~kfc chicken original flavour~~
15. swensen's breakfast (omelette set)
16. long john silvers' texas chicken
17. ~~redhill ba chor mee~~
18. ~~soup spoon homemade chicken noodle soup~~
19. ~~strawberry milk curd~~
20. ~~ramly burger~~
21. ~~popeye's chicken~~
22. ~~canadian pizza atlantis~~
23. ~~rite pizza mayo chicken~~
24. ~~amk cheese fries~~

Friday, September 25, 2009

back at work again... this morning was feeling horrible so downed all 3 medications (antibiotics, swelling, painkiller)... now a bit better.. i cant believe one whole wk has just gone by like that.

am so lost at work now, dont know what the hell has been going on although according to my colleague i didnt miss much.. and everyone thought i'd be on MC till next wk and was so surprised to see me back.. i should've just stayed at home today right -_-

oh well, nvr mind, just come and show face.

TGIF

Thursday, September 24, 2009

just came back from the dentist to get my stitches removed.

and guess what - my right side wound kena INFECTION.

NO WONDER IT WAS SO PAINFUL.

cos on the second day after surgery, one of the stitches came out while i was gargling my mouth. i didnt think much of it, but apparently bcos of tt, the wound couldnt close and heal properly and food got stuck in it. SIGH. lucky lucky me.

somemore apparently the right side wound is very deep and it was a complicated surgery.. so it takes longer to heal. left side has healed fine.

dentist removed stitches from both wounds, cleaned up the infected right side and then put medicine in it. also got new antibiotics. he says i should be ok by tmr. still have to go back to work though.. cant talk now either cos its still sore from all the prodding :(

but i suppose the worst is over. i still have one more tooth to remove which has decayed -_-" but tt one just by extraction, and it'll be faster and a lot less painful. dont wanna think abt it now, just wanna focus on recovering from this first.

on a brighter note, my new car is here. pictures when im feeling better.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

MISERABLE.

WANT TO EAT.

SICK OF PORRIDGE AND MASHED POTATO.

SICK OF ACHING JAW.

NEED TO GET WELL BY SAT FOR GRADUATION.

DONT WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK.

Monday, September 21, 2009

sometimes i wonder if you honestly forgot, or if you just pretend not to remember.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

so wisdom teeth surgery today.

i didnt eat anything since last night's dinner with colleagues, so they gave me half a cup of oats to eat before i took my antibiotics. then i went into the room and lay down on the dentist chair and was injected with anesthetic.. i recall asking the dentist some questions, looking around, and the next thing i know, im being woken up and having gauze taken out the sides of my mouth and new ones put in.

guess the general anaesthetic did its part cos i dont remember anything.

had to sit down and lean on my dad for 1/2hr in the clinic cos i was too groggy and sleepy to walk straight. fell asleep in the car, got home and rested awhile. my whole mouth was numb, couldnt feel anything. so i got a shock when i opened it and saw blood threatening to pour out -__-"

had to change the gauze twice before the wounds stopped bleeding. but it was fine, only hurt when i changed it the first time and even then, it was only for awhile and i didnt need to take painkillers. bleeding stopped after abt an hr. had 3/4 tub of large mashed potato from KFC for lunch/dinner. initially could open open my mouth a tiny bit but as i kept eating it got better.

basically now im fine, just tt my jaws are a little sore and swollen, i cant talk properly, and can only eat soft foods. not a bad deal i'd say. am glad to be rid of the teeth. i have one more to remove, but that one doesnt require surgery, it can be easily extracted and is not giving me any problems now.

so YAY to me and YAY to my dentist.

i scared myself silly for nothing.

removing stitches on thurs and not going back to work till fri so i shall enjoy my super extended weekend LOL ^_^

Friday, September 18, 2009

wisdom tooth surgery brought forward to tmr.

scared, but i just want it over and done with. hurts like shit.

which means i forfeit my wkend and need to go back to work on thurs. but nvr mind, 3 days off from work is better than no days.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

yesterday i reached my breaking point and i just blew up.

i have calmed down now.

but still disillusioned, depressed, and overall very, very unsatisfied.

Monday, September 14, 2009

fuck you, wisdom tooth!!

you give me 2 days of peace and then come back with a vengence!!

i am so gonna get you removed!!

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

&$&%$&&%(@(($((%*^*@*

Sunday, September 13, 2009

i have a horrible headache, no thanks to 3 uncouth, uncivilized, barbaric foreigners from a certain country. (make a guess which one, its not that hard).

let me share with you my hellicious 15mins bus ride experience (it seemed longer than that).

because the bus was crowded, i sat all the way at the back in the middle. there were 2 empty seats on both sides. then these 3 youngsters boarded the bus - 2 guys, 1 girl.

and i couldnt help but notice tt the girl was wearing a very thin tank top, with a bra that was obviously unpadded cos the WHOLE DAMN BUS could see her twin peaks. for goodness sake, have some modesty, there's a reason why bras are padded! my dear girl, please upgrade - you're developing/already developed and therefore should not still be wearing training bras!! i understand if you want to try and seduce ur bf or something, but pls be aware that there are alot of cheekopek uncles around who are literally salivating at your chest and entertaining who-knows-what thoughts in their heads.

so the whole gang trooped over to the back where i was sitting and the girl sat next to me. then one of the guys, her bf, just stood in front of me and stared at me. ok so being the nice person that i am, i moved in one seat so tt the couple could sit together. BIG MISTAKE. they started to grope each other. and the guy either had horrible BO, bad breath, or both cos MAN DID HE STINK. the other guy sat one seat in front of them and immediately proceeded to BLAST (and i mean REALLY BLAST) his cheena music from his handphone. to make matters worse, HE STARTED TO SING ALONG.

and you thought this is the end right?

but noooooo, the other guy, the bf of the girl, then proceeds to take out HIS handphone and BLAST IT ALONG AS WELL. so we have 2 handphones blasting music at MAXIMUM VOLUME, playing DIFFERENT SONGS, and a guy singing along LOUDLY with the music. are we having a competition here or what? 'who can blast music the loudest on the bus'.

CAN YOU NOT TELL TT THE BUS IS CROWDED, AND EVERYONE IS GIVING YOU DEATH STARES? HELLO, IF YOU CAN AFFORD TO BUY A HANDPHONE IM SURE YOU CAN AFFORD TO BUY HEADPHONES. OR HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF ONE BEFORE?

GOD FORBID.

pls go back to where you belong, Singapore does not need you contributing to our NOISE AND AIR POLLUTION levels thanks.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PPLE?

things i miss doing/dont have enough time to do:

1. read books & magazines (4 days & i STILL havent finished my CLEO mag wtf)
2. watch shows online (currently watching project runway & ANTM)
3. watch tv
4. sleep (8hrs of slp is like heaven)
5. listen to music
6. student lunch/student movie prices
7. shop
8. download songs (dont listen to radio, therefore no songs to download)

barely 3 months of work and im dying. cant imagine next time. now i understand what working pple mean when they say they have 'no time and no life'.

SIGH! :'(

Thursday, September 10, 2009

im just your punching bag.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

i dont feel like doing this anymore.
i just want to go home.

i want my teeth to stop hurting.
i want my stomach to stop hurting.
i want to go back in time and redo that interview.

i want to pretend that i know exactly what the hell im doing with my life.

Monday, September 07, 2009

ok. so i booked an appointment with the dentist today.

i figured with so much shit going on now, i should just go and confirm that its my wisdom teeth giving me problems and have some peace of mind.

went to a dentist at lucky plaza after looking through some reviews.

well he is very pro and nice. before i saw him i had to do this xray of my whole mouth which is damn zai. then the moment i stepped into the room, he said 'your wisdom tooth giving you problem, right?' -__-"

ok when i looked at the xray its pretty obvious. and trust my wisdom teeth to be the WORST POSSIBLE KIND - they are growing horizontally and therefore need to be taken out. haiiii.

i guess i was already expecting this. just needed a dentist to confirm it for me. the gd thing is i can claim from medisave - the more wisdom teeth i pluck, the more i can claim. but i think i will only pluck the bottom lower jaw 2 teeth first, as they are the problematic ones. and im not sure if i can stand the pain of plucking more than that. so apparently i only need to pay for general anesthetic. awesome. at least there's some gd news.

another piece of gd news is tt aside from the wisdom teeth, there's nothing else wrong with my teeth. no holes, decay or what. i am amazed. looks like my years of religiously sticking to the 'brush teeth twice a day' regime has paid off. i remember as a kid my parents used to FORCE me to brush my teeth. i had quite a few tooth decays then, and often had to go to the sch dentist -_- but after awhile it became a gd habit i guess, and now i cant slp if i dont brush my teeth. so many thanks to my parents for that.

next wk is out of the question for the surgery, i am packed from morning till night with work stuff. so i guess it has to be sometime next next wk? problem is, i have graduation ceremony coming up and im worried my face will look swollen in photos. so now need to dig up some free time to get this done. 5 day MC btw. worse come to worse will have to do it during wkends and 'forfeit' 2 days MC.

who knew that a tiny tooth could cause so much trouble? but i guess i gotta suck it up and just go thru with it.. its now or never, and best not to delay these kind of things.

so my dear friends, excuse me if ill be extremely busy & uncontactable for the remaining of the month. i will blog whenever i can. but if u all want to jio me out, pls wait till oct. sorry! :(

i really envy those pple who love their job.

i feel somewhat guilty saying this.. but i dont feel satisfied with my job. others are gonna come tell me, 'come on, this is such a great opportunity! its MOE lei, so prestigeous!' etc.

but, after 2 months of working here.. even though i like the people.. why do i still feel so empty and so lost?

maybe after the failed interview on fri, i feel like i dont have any purpose being here anymore. the whole point was to further my studies in educational psych. if i cant even do that, then why i am here? of course i can major in other areas of psych, but that means im not really in the appropriate job now.

i dont know. i dont know what to think anymore.

i feel so unmotivated. its a chore to drag myself out of bed to work everyday. and everyday i just count down the hours till its time to go home.

and i ask myself why?

i used to love this job. for the first 1 month plus. and then somewhere along the way it changed. and i dont know why.

i feel disillusioned and just tired. the selfish part of me wants to go back to those lazy, carefree days where i could wake up anytime i wanted and do whatever i wanted the whole day. i know thats not realistic, obviously i cant live that way for the rest of my life.

still.. part of me really craves some sort of break. perhaps i need to sort things out.. i am very much alone in this.. i need direction, need focus, need the old me back...

Saturday, September 05, 2009

to put it bluntly, my interview didnt go well.

in the prerequisites for the masters programme there was no mention of the need for teaching experience at all.

so you can imagine the nasty shock i got during the interview, where i was constantly 'reminded' (this is putting it nicely) that i had NO teaching experience and would therefore struggle if i were in the programme. and psychologists are supposed to be UNBIASED, no?

on top of that, one of the interviewer (there were 2) mentioned tt i was very young. YES i am young. but does that make me any less capable?

this has held true time and time again, particularly for the field of psychology: YOUNG = NO EXPERIENCE = LOUSY.

if pple want to hold that mindset, fine by me. if they are already biased towards me and have marked me down in their minds, there is nothing i can do to change that.

i am only disappointed with myself that i did not answer the questions or defend myself as well as I SHOULD AND COULD HAVE. i was just not up to standard that day, and went away from the whole thing feeling very small indeed.

my spirit is crushed, and i will eventually pick myself up. but in the meantime dont blame me if im a grouch.

i dont really want to go into details abt the interview, cos reliving the experience leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth.

so thats all.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

12am.

i have to get up in 6 and 1/2hrs later but i cant slp from worry.

on friday afternoon i have to go down to NIE for an interview for my masters. there will also be a written test.

MAJORLY MAJORLY FREAKED OUT + PANICKY x 10000.

secondly, i have been having horrible toothaches the whole of last night. as a result, only slept for 3hrs and woke up in pain. i went to do research, and it seems like my wisdom tooth on one side of my mouth is growing out. and do u know what this means? I NEED TO GET IT SURGICALLY REMOVED.

GREAT. JUST GREAT.

on my PRECIOUS one day off, i get my sleep disrupted, find out i probably need to go for surgery and on top of that have an interview to prepare for that will determine the next few years of my life.

IT COULDNT GET ANY BETTER.

although my teeth still hurt, i guess now im more worried abt the interview. wanted to see a dentist, but now will have to put it off till after the interview in case they want to operate soon or something. i just hope the pain doesnt kill me first.

GOD HELP ME.