MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!!!
was supposed to go slp abt 45mins ago but for some strange reason i was compelled to read my past blog entries.. and here i am.. still reading.
since i dont keep a diary anymore thank god for technology and thank god for blogs. reading all those past entries brought back memories tt i'd long forgotten.. i didnt stuff and experienced stuff that i dont even remember doing or feeling.. wow.
now im just wishing i blogged more, in more detail. but usually just a few words and a lil elaboration is enough to cue the memories.
this post i made.. on 22nd july 2006.. although a year plus has passed i still feel exactly the same way as i did then when writing it.. and i never thought i'd be able to come up with such posts.. haha.. i need to be inspired again!
anyways here it is:
Saturday, July 22, 2006 @ 1:42 PM
when ur so busy caught up in ur own life, it never really strikes u how much u miss out and leave behind.
scrolling thru friendster, clicking on pple here & there, i stumble uopn so many old friends.. pple of my past. and i find myself digging out the memories buried deep in my heart.. memories which i totally forgot or didnt even know were there.
and im struck by such a great sadness that i have 2 stop and just... think for awhile. think how i let it get 2 this stage. think abt all those i left behind, as i was rushing thru my life.
a part of me wants 2 rekindle some of those old friendships.. but i know that will never happen. i wouldnt really know where 2 start. with time the distance has grown, and once great friendships are no more, but only of the past.
maybe this is part of life.. pple walk in and out of it. only a few remain in the long run, and thats if u make an effort to keep it that way. sure u can be bestfriends, but if u let work, studies and other commitments interfere, there's never any guarantee that you'll always stay that way. that's what's so sad.
i remember all my best friends. each and every single one of them. but im ashamed that i have not made the effort 2 keep in contact. as a result, i don't even know where half of them are. the rest.. well, some i have on friendster, some i happen 2 just bump into on the streets and we pass each other by w/o even saying hello. coz maybe that ex-bestfriend of mine has forgotten me. or maybe she remembers. but there is nothing 2 say. no point in acknowledging. and with a backward glance that moment, that opportunity is gone. and it was probably my only chance.
everyone has moved on. no one really stays the same. i see my ex-best friends, friends, ex-classmates, schoolmates & acquaintences leading their own lives, making their mark and finding a place in society.
what abt me? how much have i changed? a hell lot, i'm sure. im still finding myself, in a way.
gawd, i miss those carefree times of innocence. where problems involved stupid stuff like quarrelling with the teacher cos u wanted 2 sit with a certain best friend/friend in class. how simple things were.
i'm big now. and age has opened our eyes to the real world. sometimes, i'd like 2 shut it all out.. and go back.
pple come and go.. but the memories remain forever.