my name is joanne
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Sunday, September 30, 2007

happiness is ...... contageous.

maybe thats why it can be taken away so easily.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

brushes, doodles & special effects.



Friday, September 28, 2007

i got bored, so decided to have some fun with photoshop. notice the contrast between the 2 pics - one optimistic, the other mellow.

guess im kinda confused eh.


this is a random one. i like the picture! monochrome & serene.


today i met up with gen & audrey. although it was only for a brief 2hours, i do feel better. come to think of it, i havent had a 'girl talk session' full of gossip and other random stuff for the longest time. & somehow doing so helped me relax a lil.

just a lil.
i still have my stupid portfolio staring at me now :(

Thursday, September 27, 2007

awhile back i used to keep praying that i'd be emotionless and not feel anything. then i stopped, cos i didnt think it was possible. but u know what? it is, cos tt's what i've been like for the past few days. or past weeks.

emotionless. just.. empty.

im not saying i dont feel anything. i do, but just physically. like i feel tired. i feel burnt out. but i dont feel things like hurt. i dont feel pain.

and miraculously, time seems to have totally stopped. seriously. i have no concept of time whatsoever.

like today, i can walk all the way back from thomson plaza to bishan junction 8 and not feel a thing, except for the strain in my leg muscles and the sweat on my face.

i dont feel the time slipping away. and my favourite 'past time' has become taking long, bus rides. yep, u heard me right.

i used to dread em.. wanted to get home asap. but now.. i just wanna stay on the bus.. it lets me drift away.. perhaps it isolates me from the hustle and bustle of city life.. and i dont have to talk to no one, nor entertain.. and that suits me just fine. its on such bus rides when i feel myself totally empty. and i just stare into space.. and stare.. and stare..

now that i finally know what its like to be totally emotionless, and the fact that its even possible.. well, i quite like it really. cos i personally think its better to feel nothing at all, when all you've felt for awhile is just negative emotions after another.


moving out soon. and more long bus rides to come.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

i am just stressing and stressing and i think its gonna be that way till 17th oct which is the last day of my exams. i have exams on 8th, and then 15th, 16th, 17th.

gawd.

and then i get what like a one week break and its back to sch again to begin my last and final semester.

i cant wait for this to end, really need some time to myself badly.. everything's just taken up by work.. so much so that i cant even find joy in shopping which i used to love.

so now i gotta go rush my assignment due on mon.. havent started yet.. and then complete this fucking portfolio with a friggin 50+ (or is it 60+? havent even looked at it yet) qns, all essay type, mind u not mcq or short answer.. will fucking kill myself doing so..

**vent vent vent**

Monday, September 17, 2007

im trying not to think about the things that make me sad.. trying to push all unpleasant thoughts away.. cos i guess sometimes there's nothing u can do except just try not to remember.



when its good, its really good. when its bad, its really bad.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

well so im moving house soon.. ok not exactly moving out.. more like 'moving out till renovations are done with the house'.. which will take god knows how long.. half a year maybe? and of all places, to BEDOK. it takes me a friggin 1/2hr to get 2 town from where i am now (serangoon).. can u imagine how long it'll take from bedok? god. and i dont even know how im gonna get 2 sch. SIGH. exams coming up, and im still struggling 2 finish my assignments, which come one after another on a weekly basis all the way till exams.

***HUGE MAJOR LONG SIGH***

so excuse me if i've been seriously cranky of late. currently the house looks like a tornado and train wreck just passed thru simultaneously.. the cupboards in my rooms are all empty.. everything's been/in the process of being packed up.. looking around i see my life being packed away into boxes.. and i dont know why but it makes me feel kinda sad. i guess its hard to be taken out of ur comfort zone.. ok i am so rambling..

i have another presentation to complete.. which adds up to the grand total of 4 presentations this sem.. and countless assignments.. when will it ever end? really really need a good, long break.. the last time i shopped was like.. 1 month ago? 2? havent had the time or mood at at to do anything really.. everyday just come home and collapse into a dead sleep.. days blend into another.. this monotony will be the death of me.

thats all.

Monday, September 10, 2007

i wonder, how to astrologers come up with daily horoscopes? how do they decide what to write for each star sign each day?

in the past, i used to follow horoscopes rather avidly. perhaps they gave me some 'direction' in my life.. i wanted to know what was gonna happen on a particular day and somehow prepare myself for it.

but that was the past, and i've since stopped following them. yet, on the very rare occasions when i happen to pick up the newspaper/some magazine to check my daily horoscope, whatever that was mentioned somehow comes true.

and now im pissed off. cos i mean seriously, how can horoscopes be true? how can someone really foresee the future months ahead, write it all down and get it published?

is it just pure coincidence, bad luck, or the self-fulfilling prophecy in play?

how about an answer to that?

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

AOH was fun in the latter part, but the early part really sucked cos it rained for about 3hours straight w/o letting up! so poor me and joanna had 2 share her one tiny umbrella and make our way around. many, many displays and military vehicles, but we couldnt take pics cos of the rain. and it was real muddy too! lester was helping out at AOH and joanna spotted him at the ice cream counter so we got free ice cream! haha. apparently there were alot of cj guys around as pointed out by joanna, though i could hardly recognise anyone. we got to go on the bionix ride (some army tank thingy) cos some guys gave up their tix to us.. lester joined cos there were extra tix.. certainly was an eye opener.. will never get 2 experience that again! lol. they had like blank firing (which was really loud) and driving around in isolated foresty areas, navigating muddy roads! we got to peek out of the top of the bionix the whole time.. ride lasted for about 20mins. so despite the gloomy start to the day, it all turned out well in the end! plus i've got TONS of assorted cutesy army pins :)

joanna! next army/navy/air force open house i jio u again ok! :D



thats us wearing our lil red helmets. for safety measures when u ride the bionix. helmets were awfully uncomfortable!




i dont know what this is.. some kind of gun? hahaha. only got this one pic cos joanna was rushing off! think its nice though :)