if only there was a 'pause' button that worked in real life.. now would be the best time for me to press it. so many things are just happening all at once and its beyond my control..
sure i can deal with one issue at a time, but not 3-4 at one go. notice i used the word issue, not problem. cos i guess they arnt really problems.
sometimes i feel as if im growing up faster than i should be. and i dont wanna grow up.. i wanna be that naive and innocent kid that i once was.. i dont want to see what the world's really like. things are being presented to me so fast, so quickly.. and i find myself having to deal with them the way a rational adult should.
and then i stop and i question.. wait.. im 20 years old.. yet i dont feel i've matured enough to handle stuff.
life itself scares me. each day we're just getting older.. and each hour, each minute, each second that passes us by, its gone.. we can never get it back.
i see people moving on and i wonder if im still stuck here in the same position that i was for years and just not moving.. watching others pass me by.
they say that when you've found ur comfort zone, u dont wanna move out of it. u dont wanna experiment. u wanna just stay that way. but if that happened, how would one progress? how would one grow? how would one learn?
i am so afraid of making mistakes, so afraid of moving out of that comfort zone i've built that perhaps im just hindering myself.
eventually though it seems that situations force me out into the 'real world'.. they force me to face up to my fears and insecurities whether i like it or not. and thats how it feels like for me at this point.
next year i will be 21 and officially an adult. will i be any different from where i am now? i thought i wasnt scared of the future, but i now realise i am absolutely terrified. cos nothing is ever certain, and in just one moment everything can change.
Do you remember when you were seven,
And the only thing that you wanted to do was show your mum that you could play the piano.
Ten years have passed and the one thing that lasts,
Is that same old song that we played along and made my momma cry.
I miss those days and I miss those ways,
When I got lost in fantasies, in a cartoon land of mysteries,
In a place you won't grow old, in a place you won't feel cold and I'll sing...
Da-da da da-da da, da da-da da da-da, seems I'm lost in my reflection,
Da-da da da-da da, da da-da da da-da, find a star for my direction.
Da-da da da-da da, da da-da da da-da, for the little girl inside,
Who won't just hide, don't let me see mistakes and lies,
Let me keep my faith and innocent eyes.
Do you remember when you were fifteen,
And the kids at school called you a fool coz you took the chance to dream.
In the time that's passed and the one thing that lasts,
Is that same old song that we played along and made my daddy cry.
I miss those days and I miss those ways,
When I got lost in fantasies, in a cartoon land of mysteries,
In a place you won't grow old, in a place you won't feel cold...
Da-da da da-da da, da da-da da da-da, seems I'm lost in my reflection,
Da-da da da-da da, da da-da da da-da, find a star for my direction.
Da-da da da-da da, da da-da da da-da, for the little girl inside,
Who won't just hide, don't let me see mistakes and lies,
Let me keep my faith and innocent eyes.
Under my feelings, under the skin, under the thoughts from within,
Learning the subtext of the mind, see creation, how we're defined, my innocent eyes.