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Sunday, February 25, 2007

this week has been a flurry of activity.

im out for one whole day, home for the next to recover. then the cycle repeats itself.

today is recovery day.

hmmm. i could get used to this.
hahaha.

the only problem is i keep spending money on irrelevant stuff.

recently just started taking neo prints again. those were the good old times. i remember when i was in sec sch taking neo prints used to be the 'in' thing. i still have a whole box and album full of them. despite wasting tons of money (i estimate abt $100?), in a way im glad. cos the wonderful moments and memories are captured in those lil stickers.

when i figure out how to use the scanner machine maybe ill post them up here.


so here's the updated post exams to-do list:

1) shopping
-> more long tops needed
-> get 1 skirt
-> get 1 CD

2) catch more movies
-> just caught epic movie.
-> other movies to watch: norbit, ghost rider.

3) go running
-> am putting this on hold until maybe next wk, depending on my schedule. cos i figured at the rate im out shopping (7hrs straight), i'd most probably have burnt off all the calories i'd intended to. must remember though to wear better shoes.. i have tons of cuts and blisters :(

4) go out
-> this still applies. c'mon, its my holidays. and im gonna make the best of it. and try not to overspend.
-> so far:
bugis with joanna
town & marina square with audrey
town, marina square & suntec with gen
-> remaining places:
vivocity with gen (thurs)
town by myself (still not done yet)

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

post CNY updates

1) shopping
-> more long tops needed
-> get 1 skirt
-> get 1 CD
2) catch more movies
-> just caught epic movie.
-> other movies to watch: norbit, ghost rider.
3) go running
-> this fri/sat/sun
4) read
-> currently halfway through 'perfume'. also reading this month's CLEO.
5) go out
-> bugis with joanna, marina sq & town with audrey
-> remaining places to visit: town (not done yet, perhaps alone), vivocity (gen?).

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I've learned -
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.

I've learned -
that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.

I've learned -
that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned -
that it's not what you have in yourlife
but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned -
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned -
that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do,
but to the best you can do.

I've learned -
that it's not what happens to people that's important.
It's what they do about it.

I've learned -
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned -
that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.

I've learned -
that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I've learned -
that it's a lot easier
to react than it is to think.

I've learned -
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned -
that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.

I've learned -
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I've learned -
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.

I've learned -
that regardless of how hot and steamy ur relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned -
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I've learned -
that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned -
that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned -
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned -
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing
and have the best time.

I've learned -
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned -
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned -
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I've learned -
that just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to,
it doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned -
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences
you've had and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned -
that you should never tell a child
their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating,
andwhat a tragedy it would if they believed it.

I've learned -
that your family won't always be there for you.
It may seem funny,
but people you aren't related to can take care of you
and love you and teach you to trust people again.
Families aren't biological.

I've learned -
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned -
that it isn't always enough
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned -
that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned -
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned -
that sometimes when my friends fight,
I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

I've learned -
to love.. and to be loved.

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Saturday, February 17, 2007

im beginning to realise im not a very traditional person when it comes to upholding chinese tradtions, which surface every year during this period.

yup, chinese new year.

stuff abt not being able to sweep the floor, wash clothes, sleep on lunar new yr so as to prolong ur parents life.. etc etc.

there's tons which i dont even know about.

i dont buy it. but i go along with it simply cos my parents do.

and i wonder if others my age feel the same way. do we follow for the sake of following? ok so maybe the thing about "not arguing on the first day of chinese new yr as it will bring bad luck for a whole yr" is true cos i remember last yr i argued with my parents on chinese new yr morning (-_-")

and look what happened. haha.



another thing - i dislike visiting.

notice i used dislike, not hate. cos i feel hate is too strong a word. tmr i can be expected to be bombarded with questions along the lines of "how's sch?", "how's uni life?", "when are you graduating?", "what course are you doing?", "how's exams?"........etc etc.

it gets tiring having to repeat yourself over and over.

and when i do graduate, the questions will shift to "got boyfriend already or not?", when i get my first job it'll be "what do you do? pay good or not?" and when i get married it'll be "why no children yet?".

you get the gist.

thankfully, for all our effort we get paid!!!

so sue me if you dont like the way i look at things. but seriously.. who doesnt like to receive money 'for free'? especially if ur me, who is broke (again) yet still spending money like nobody's business (as usual).


i will endure 1hr of questioning + smiling at pple whom i didnt know im related to until now if that means an extra $10.


HAPPY CHINESE NEW YR PPLE!

and hope u receive lotsa lotsa hong baos for minimal answering of questions!

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Friday, February 16, 2007

today is friday, and guess what that means???

MY EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*prances around*


so, here's my post exam and CNY to-do list:

1) lots of shopping (refer to wish list)
2) catch more movies
3) pick up running again (yes, i need to)
4) borrow books
5) get my social life back (i.e. go out)


well, its only 2weeks of holiday so i think this should be more than sufficient.

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

what valentine's day means to me

overpriced flowers
valentine's day menus in restaurants
paper hearts
girls everywhere carrying bouquets of flowers
little presents to and from friends (in sec sch)
sappy love songs over the radio
booked hotel rooms
rose petals
incense and candles
hugs and kisses
crowded parks and beaches (fort canning, east coast etc)
chocolates
jewellery!!!!

and finally...

overrated and a gimmick; taken full advantage of by stores and restaurants to jack up prices and make poor boyfriends spend on their girlfriends who may deny that they want anything but seriously, secretly long for that diamond ring on display ......


hahahaha.


regardless,

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!


i would have made a nice, sweet graphic for this but i dont have the time and my adobe photoshop is expired -_-"

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

i always thought not many pple bother to read my blog, but i guess im wrong.

never thought what i wrote here would really affect pple.

hmm. anyway thats another story.



ok so exams are 3 days away.

im still totally unprepared. the weird thing is im not panicking.
or maybe just not enough.

kinda feel like i've shut myself out, and im living in my own little world.


-----------------------------------------------------------

well im supposed to forward this, but think ill just post it up here.


Girl:Hey...
Boy: What?
Girl: I really like you. And I... I think I'm falling in love with you.
Boy: Ok...
Girl: What do you mean "ok"?
Boy: I don't like you like that...
Girl: Why not?
Boy: I can't tell you... maybe another time...

From then on, the girl kept asking the boy "Why not?" whenever she saw him, and he kept answering the same answer of "I'll tell you later."
Finally the girl got fed up.

Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why you don't like me!
Boy: Do you really wanna know why?
Girl: Yes!
Boy: It's because you're uglier than ANYTHING! What's the point of going out with
someone when they're not pretty?!
Girl: But... I...
Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone!

The boy leaves and the girl is sitting there alone, crying her heart out. Then her cell phone rings.

Girl: Hello?
Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to go home, ok? I'll be home from work in a few hours.
Girl: Alright Mom.
Mom: I love you.
Girl: I love you too, Mom.
Mom: Bye Bye.
Girl: Bye

The girl heads home and once she got there,she went in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.

Girl: I'm not pretty enough...

She set to work, knowing fully well what she was going to do.

2 hours later, her Mom came home and heard the bath water running.
She went upstairs to find the hallway flooded so she knocked on the door.

Mom: Honey? Are you alright?

She opened the door and was shocked at the site. The bath was overflowing onto the floor, and the water was tinted red. She walked over to see what was inside and screamed. There, her little girl was lying with cuts all over her face and wrists. Her Mom backed away and was going to run to call the police when something caught her eye.

On the mirror, am I pretty enough now?

No one deserves to be told that by someone they love. If you find it messed up then forward this to everyone you know.

A person's appearance doesn't count. What counts is their heart inside of them and their personality. No one wants to be told they're not good enough...

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Friday, February 09, 2007

down.
disillusioned.
depressed.
dissatisfied.
disappointed.
damned.
disgruntled.
dashed.
desperate.


the D's reign supreme.

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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

everytime i psych myself up in anticipation for something, no matter how small
it may seem, it almost always falls flat. today is no different.

im so disappointed im getting numb to the feeling.

i wont expect much tmr.

---------------------------------------------

hello, blog.

its me posting again, twice in a day.
its slightly past 8pm now.

and im feeling ever so lonely.

i realise its been like that for quite awhile.. why am i so isolated from the world?
i'd like to be cared about for awhile.
it sucks when ur just sitting there, staring at the phone and knowing no one's gonna call.
and when u lay in bed, tossing and turning at 3am, troubled by your thoughts which keep u awake throughout the night.

who do you turn to?
what do you do?

my loneliness consumes me.

Monday, February 05, 2007

poem for the heartbroken

she wanted to be his everything
she had so much hope
but she was just kidding herself
all along it was a joke

cos everytime he'd see through her
he couldnt understand the pain
that ripped through her heart so bad
she was alone again

how she longed to see him smile
and tell her everything was okay
it hurt to see what they'd become
why did it have to end this way?

tears fill her eyes as she watched him go
and left her standing there
another heartbreak, another long recovery
down the road to nowhere.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

1) PY2106 essay
2) PY2101 lab report
3) PY2111 lab report + power pt presentation
4) PY3101 research ethics proposal

i have successfully conqured all my assignments!

now whats left is non-stop cramming for 4 days straight of exams.
13th,14th,15th,16th.

but FIRST, im taking today off for some splurging window shopping.


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Saturday, February 03, 2007

ok, tyra banks is my current role model.

really admire her self esteem, and how she can stand up in front of a crowd, so vulnerable and yet so strong.

i still want to lose weight though.

here's the vid, see for yourself.


Friday, February 02, 2007

today in class we watched the show 'tuesdays with morrie'.
some of u may have already read the book.
at the end, there wasn't a dry eye in the whole class. well, for all the girls anyway.

anyway, the show has really inspired me. ok this is gonna sound really cliche, but it seemed to be 'speaking' to me.

notice my previous entry? yup.. i wanted to delete it, but then i wouldnt be really able to make my point.

tuesdays with morrie thought me that its ok to feel self pity. but don't mull over it. give yourself some time to feel pitiful, but then move on. because imagine what you could have done with all the time spent feeling sorry for yourself. that time could be better spent actually doing something for yourself.

here are some particularly inspiring quotations adapted from the book itself. the first one touched a sore spot. see how it relates to the previous blog entry. gosh...

"Take any emotion - love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a illness. If you hold back on the emotions - if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them - you can never get to being attached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, 'All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognise that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment."


"As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you have created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here. Death ends a life, not a relationship."


"The truth is, when our mothers held us, rocked us, stroked our heads, none of us ever got enough of that. We all yearn in some way to return to those days when we were completely taken care of - unconditional love, unconditional attention. Most of us didn't get enough."


"Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it.
Guess what I got? Guess what I got?
You know how I always interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting sort of a hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship.
Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I'm sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feelings you are looking for, no matter how much of them you have."

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Thursday, February 01, 2007

in an earlier post, i told myself i wouldnt care anymore.

im afraid to say i've failed.

but the reason is simple - that's cos i have feelings.
i cant simply stop feeling.

and maybe thats why i like to distant myself from everyone. i dont open up much.

i'm scared of being hurt again.
scared of trusting.

sometimes, when pple get scared they become nasty.
its really just a form of self-defence, a barrier they're putting up.



i must be a really nasty person.

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school is becoming so terribly monotonous..

all i wanna do is go home and sleep.

i swear the only form of 'studying' im gonna do is attend lessons. and thats it. until this weekend perhaps.

have been sufferring from insomnia for the past few days. one day i wont be able to slp, the next ill knock out and slp for 7hrs straight to make up for the missed slp.

wtf.

thank god done with the bulk of assignments and left with only one.

and the dreaded exams.

of course.

please how could i forget.



i need retail therapy really, really bad.

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