sick cycle carousel

Monday, October 30, 2006

She asked him if she was pretty, he said no.
She asked him if he wanted to live with her forever, he said no.
She asked him if he would cry if she walked away, he said no.
She turned to go, and he grabbed her and said,
"You're not pretty. You're beautiful.
I don't want to live with you forever. I need to live with you forever.
And I would not cry if you walked away, I would die."

yesterday ...

Sunday, October 29, 2006

not everyone can say with much conviction that they are satisfied with themselves and their life. this is something i've learnt, but often forget, especially when im too caught up in my own little world of misery.

while it is true that good looking people for example generally tend to have life easier for them, i realise.. no make that realised that they've got problem of their own.

like, sure u may get the job over the less-than-attractive girl cos ur new boss thinks ur hot but then ur co workers may hate u, be it simply cos they're jealous of ur looks or cos u get all the attention from men etc etc. so u wind up lonely.

is that example relevant?

how abt another one.. i've seen and know of really popular, pretty girls who face many relationship problems of their own. is ur boyfriend with u cos u look good on his arm? does he really love u 4 who u are? do you really have friends .. or are they hanging with u to boost their image and get into that club?

its not surprising that some pretty girls end up with average/ugly (this is subjective) boyfriends, or are still single. and u wonder why...

i guess i can safely say that this applies to guys as well.

ok maybe im focusing too much on the looks factor here. how abt wealth? yes, we've all heard of that cliche saying.. ''money cant buy happiness''. u gotta admit its true. sometimes.

i also do know of pple who are filthy rich.. but only so because their parents give them cash to make up for lost time. buying love, i'd call it.

of course, if lots of cash makes u happy cos u can buy anything u want and show off.. then good 4u.

life is full of contradictions aint it.. why do celebrities complain abt all the attention they're getting from the paparazzi? in my opinion, they asked for it. and thats the job of the press. you help them sell newspapers.

fat people wanna lose some weight. thin people wanna put on more weight.

u can say im generalising, but u must agree that its true most of the time.

so i wonder to myself sometimes, as im doing now.. is anyone really happy?
there's always gonne be something to complain abt, something to improve........

Saturday, October 28, 2006

it sucks to feel this unappreciated.

have you ever longed for someone, or some people to show some gratefulness towards u? i mean, even just a lil? and that's all it'll take to make you feel happier, make u feel better abt yourself that ur actions havent gone unnoticed? it doesnt really matter even if u dont mean it. but not even a hint of a smile?

sigh.

its pretty late 2 be blogging now..but i've got some stuff 2 get off my chest.

"The higher you build the walls around your heart, the harder you fall when someone finally tears them down."

i guess i should stop thinking of u now.
its not like ur thinking of me.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

today's supposed to be different, but it feels the same to me.

im dying from all this monotony!

sociology paper tmr.. a trip back to the general paper essay writing days in junior college..

i can actually use the gp notes but i dont know where they are and am way too lazy to look.

procrastinating!!

gosh.. so much to do post exam period.
so many pple to meet.

and i wanna see you right now

when it comes to relationships
i'm the dumbest one
and i don't mean just with girls
i mean with everyone
your illustrations always point out
just what's wrong with me
it's chapstick and chapped lips
and things like chemistry

Monday, October 23, 2006

been very very emo lately. steph, im sure u can second that! haha.

i've got an exam on tmr.. yet im not freaking out.
strange.

more sentimental and thought provoking stuff.. maybe i should start a collection.

Never say I love you, if you don't really care.
Never talk about feelings, if they aren't really there.
Never touch a life, if you meant to break a heart.
Never say you're going to, if you don't plan to start.
Never look me in the eye, if all you do is lie.
Never say hello, if you really mean good-bye.

Did you ever wonder
If dreams could come true,
If love songs and fairy tales
Were ever meant for you?
Did you ever wonder,
What's at the rainbow's end?
If Romeo and Juliet
Could ever happen again?

I had closed the door upon my heart and wouldn't let anyone in
I had trusted and loved only to be hurt,but that would never happen again
I had locked the door and tossed the key as hard and far as I could
Love would never enter there again, my heart was closed for good
Then you came into my life, and changed my mind
Just when I thought that tiny key was impossible to find
That's when you held out your hand,and proved to me that I was wrong
Inside your palm was the key to my heart - You had it all along.

Love is like grass.
If you fall on it, it may leave a stain and some temporary pain.
But you'll get over the pain, it will eventually stop hurting.
Now maybe the stain ruined your favorite pair of jeans,
or maybe it was nothing special that was ruined,
but either way the stain remains there.
And with time it will begin to fade,
but it will always be there,
a permanent reminder that you, too, once fell.

I've been trying not to love you,
I've been putting up a fight.
I've been barely holding on,
and letting go with all my might.
There's a part of me that's empty,
I know only love can fill.
I'm afraid I'll never fill it,
and scared to death I will.

Goodbyes will always hurt,
pictures will never replace being there,
thanks is a feeble word,
memories forget the hard times,
words can never replace feelings,
and heroes often go unsung.

I've learned that it is impossible to laugh when you're so much closer to crying,
that tears can be hidden if you try,
and that the roles we play for each other without a crowd
could win more academy awards than the screens will ever know.

Snow White. Cinderella.
All about wanting a guy, being saved by the guy.
Today, it's Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Pocahontas.
All about getting a guy.
So, basically, we're screwed up because of Disney.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

I shout, but no one hears. I cry, but no one listens. I listen, but no one speaks. I question, but no one answers.
You call; I follow. You cry; I help. I question, but you don't answer. I search, but you're not there. Still, I keep listening, hearing and hoping for someone to just understand.

Don't run when I push you away. It's then that I need you the most.

Friday, October 20, 2006

"We have been through trife;

it almost tore us apart.

What we have is stronger than steel,

a bond of the heart."

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure. But, risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

What's Your Love Style?

What's Your Mood?

Thursday, October 19, 2006

emoooooooooooooooo

Snow is falling from the sky
In the middle of July
Sun was shining in my eyes again last night
Alarm goes off without a sound
the silence is so loud
something isn't right

Footsteps echo down the hall
no one's there at all
Dial your number but your voice says "I'm not home"
Everything is inside out
I don't know what it's about
It keeps getting stranger by the day
stranger by the day

Going for a walk outside
to see what I can find
No reflections in the windows I pass by
It feels hotter in the shade
water's running up the drain
something's going on

Conversations with a mime
stared at by the blind
Imagination must be working overtime
The world is upside down
everything is turned around
It keeps getting stranger by the day
stranger by the day

By the time I reach your door
I can't take anymore
I just happened to be in your neighbourhood
I'm the one who gets surprised
I don't believe my eyes
your alibi's no good

Whatever happened to the world
whatever happened to the girl I thought I knew
It just can't be true
I guess I'm losing you
stranger by the day
stranger by the day
it keeps getting stranger by the day

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

fuck stats. seriously. bah!!

im still so fed up since yesterday's exam. but its over.. and i dont have time 2 mull over the dreadful, yet so-easily-doable-if-i-actually-knew-how-to-answer-the-questions-paper.

damn!

next exam is on mon, so i have lots of time 2 study 4 that. or so i thought. omg.. i attempted 2 reread and memorise 2 chpts just now and failed terribly.. so here i am online complaining. don't even talk abt the lect notes.

craving hershey's chocolate!
and ben and jerry's cookie dough ice cream!

i must motivate myself to pick up running again after exams.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

new blogskin!!

cheerful outlook.

i'm feeling positive abt today.

hope all goes well.

first exam paper on mon.
statistics. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i'm off ...

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

i had a really bad day today.

no, really really really bad day.

but its almost over so i shall not think abt it any further.

sometimes, u gotta be blunt in order to convey ur message across to others.

why is it that people are so one-track minded.. they only see their point of view and they cant accept anything else. sigh.

i didnt want to hurt u, but u left me with no choice.

at least u know now.

u know, i dont want my actions to affect others. i want to bear the burden on my own. yet somehow every single thing i do has its consequences.. on others, not just myself.

say, if i do something, someone is bound to get hurt.
trust me on this one. i dont know why it works out that way for me. i so wanna change it.

had a headache since 2pm. it's the haze i tell u. and also partly to do with crying too much.

Monday, October 09, 2006

how appropriate.

I've gotta be honest
I think you know
We're covered in lies and that's okay
And there's somewhere beyond this, I know
But I hope i can find the words to say

Never again, no
No, never again

'Cause you're a god
And I am not
And I just thought
That you would know
You're a god
And I am not
And I just thought
I'd let you go

But I've been unable
To put you down
I'm still learning things I ought to know by now
It's under the table
so I need something more to show, somehow

So, never again, no
No, never again

'Cause you're a god
And I am not
And I just thought
That you would know
You're a god
And I am not
And I just thought
I'd let you go

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Please note: This short story is solely for entertainment purposes only. NO OFFENCE to Donnie Seah and Sheena Poh.

Once upon a time, there were two little girls who happened to be neighbours. (And in between their houses was a quaint little shop which sold water for exorbitant prices and mats.) The little girls' names were Donnie Seah and Sheena Poh.

Well Donnie had a huge albeit rather run-down estate, with a backyard full of trees and shrubbery that stretched many yards; while Sheena's little red house with her well-kept garden was a mere dot in comparison.

Now here was the problem - every year, for no conceivable reason (as far as Sheena Poh was concerned), Donnie Seah would set fire to her yard of trees, burning them to the ground - and, inevitably, introducing insane amounts of smoke into the air. The friendly North wind (or whichever, its not really the point) would then huff and puff and blow - no, not Donnie's house down - the smoke over the little mat shop and into Sheena's lovely garden city.

Sheena's Daddy told her it was called 'haze', (probably some fusion of 'heat' and 'maze', she thought). Well the haze made Sheena Poh's eyes hurt and she could feel her lungs disintegrating. Daddy even made her wear an ugly mask.

So she decided to write a note:

"Dear Donnie Seah, please stop burning your trees because it's making my throat hurt. Thank you. Signed, Sheena Poh."

Friday, October 06, 2006

goodbye assignments, hello exams!

technically, tmr is the last lesson of my 2nd semester. am so not ready 2 get into study mode, esp. after slogging over assignments for the past few wks. bah!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

he lets his fingers do the talking....

im pissed off la dammit..

so hard 2 stay positive when everything's going wrong..

why oh why did i take psychology?
wanted 2 escape maths in uni.. in the end just gave myself more shit to deal with.

fuckkkkkkkk.

too late to regret now.
will see if i can cross over to major in counselling, after i obtain my bachelor degree.

so anyway. as u can see im having another bad day.

assignment due on fri. im so lazy im not even panicking. maybe just a lil. but not enough 2 motivate 2 work on it as yet.

last wk of sch.. thank god.

need 2 sleep.

am feeling so emo now..............

here's some papa roach to match the mood.

Monday, October 02, 2006

For every girl who is tired of being weak when she is strong,
there is a boy tired of appearing strong when he is vulnerable.

For every boy who is burdened with the constant expectation of knowing everything,
there is a girl who is tired of people not trusting her intelligence.

For every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive,
there is a boy who fears to be gentile, to weep.

For every boy whose competition is the only way to prove his masculinity,
there is a girl who is called unfeminine when she competes.

For every boy struggling not to let advertising dictate his desires,
there is a girl facing the ad industry's attacks on her self-esteem.

For every girl who takes a step toward her liberation,
there is a boy who finds the way to freedom a little bit easier.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

u guys remember the guy called gary who made the 'numa numa' song famous?
well here we go again!!

and its even more hillarious this time!!

LOL!!!!!!

im back and blogging again!

emo alert! lol.

its back 2 work again.. no no noooooooooo.

decided tt ill study one day, and play the next so as to keep me sane.
or something along those lines.

so that makes today a study day!
*tries to feel positive abt it*

oooh... who am i kidding?

damn these assignments! arghhhhhhhhh!

and im so friggin BROKE!!

i wish i could make some website donation thing.. like whenever someone visits this blog, $10 will automatically be transferred into my bank account.

wouldnt that be absolutely fabulous?

then i can con all u unsuspecting victims into donating LOADS of moolah into the S.J.R.T Fund - i.e. Support Joanne's Retail Therapy Fund.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

but now i've revealed my secret.. so there goes another of my ingenious inventions!!

so no worries my friend, u may continue to visit this humble blog of mine without fear!!