i need to rant.
been doing that a lot nowadays. so let me warn u in advance, the purpose of this entry is really 4 me to vent it all out and nothing else.
u can stop reading now.
im still fucking pissed off. this week has been and still is utter bullshit. i thought i could look forward 2 the weekend but nooo... today was just as fucked. tmr, sunday is my only hope. and then its back 2 fucking monday again. i guess i should be happy that i've only got classes on 2 days. but still. whats the point of having so many days of when u fucking have so much on ur mind u cant concentrate on anything, let alone enjoy some free time 2 yourself and god knows when the last time was since u were this 'free'.
so its probably gonna be me and my books again since i'm GROUNDED - yes, u GROUNDED (whats new) again. i.e constantly being checked up by my parents and being confinded to the 4 walls of my room.
i think being an adult at 21 and being 2 do whatever u what is total bullshit as well. i mean fuck, im already 19 and u still have to control me? well, sorry if i don't live up 2 ur expectations. sorry if im stupid. and im sorry that u cant accept that fact. it would be better if i was born retarded. then you wouldnt be able 2 deny it.
i just want to do what i want. i don't want to have to answer to anyone anymore.
dont go telling me how fortunate i am to be having this and that. honestly i'd trade it all just for u to get off my back for once.
the problem is you care too much.
ok whatever. im sick of ranting abt the same thing over and over again. what difference will it make? it certainly won't make u change overnight. fuck. so now instead of looking forward to tmr im fucking dreading it.
i just don't want 2 be around you. i need my space. seriously. blame it on the teenage years and indentity seeking and whatever else u want 2 call it. i don't care.
its been so bad lately.
i wish a hole would open up in the ground right now and swallow me. im sick of dealing with stupid stuff that others dont even have 2 face. constantly having to question 'why me?' coz this is the life im born into and there's only so much i can change.
is that resignation i sense? yeah. guess i've resigned myself 2 this long ago.
im questioning my faith again. i know. again. and if God can hear me now all i ask for is 4 tmr 2b better.
PLEASE.