today was gd, despite the tough test and mock exam in class which i did not really prepare for.
i had fun!! :)
but tmr its back 2 work again.. i have 1 more assignment 2 complete.. argh!! i can do this! then its studying 4 exams!
but just 4 tonight, shall not think abt anything else except relaxing!!!
must not take such times forgranted.
my poor aching legs. did a sprint 4 the bus.
I BEAT U!!muahahaha. let's go running together sometime! lol.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
i've discovered salvation..
in music!!
ok maybe discovered isn't the appropriate word. REDISCOVERED, then. lol.
feel good after blasting non-stop music on my ipod/com/cd player.
there's a song 4 every mood! right now i'm in the 'high-and-feel-like-dancing-mood'!!!
must be too stressed over the past few weeks..and am finally relaxing. FINALLY.
not like my assignments r done yet.. i still got 1 and 3/4 left.. still..
oh, i forgot 2 mention that earlier this afternoon, i blew close to $60 on some much needed retail therapy. maybe that has something 2 do with my good mood eh?
broke again.
sometimes, u just gotta spend though ;)
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
in case u didnt know...
Sunday, September 24, 2006
"next time when we're both
old, i hope you die before i do."
"why?"
"because i don't want you to have to deal with the pain of being alone. i'd rather i suffer."
Saturday, September 23, 2006
i should stop dwelling on all the negatives. but us humans r like that. and you do that too.
sometimes i just wanna tell u to fuck off, after all that you've made me feel. more appropriately, after all that you've made me hurt.
please tell me if i am hanging onto something that's long beyond hope. thats the very least u can do.
i think you know what i'm getting at i find it so upsetting that the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget
and even though i'm angry i can still say i know my heart will break the day when you peel out and drive away i can't believe this happened and all this time i never thought that all we had would be all for not
no, i don't hate you don't want to fight you know i'll always love you but right now i just don't like you no, i don't hate you don't want to fight you know i'll always love you but right now i just don't like you cause you took this too far
make your decision and don't you dare think twice go with your instincts along with some bad advice this didn't turn out the way i thought it would at all you blame me but some of this is still your fault
i tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge i tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge i think you know what i'm getting at you said goodbye and i just don't want you regretting that
and wisdom always chooses these black eyes and these bruises over the heartache that they say never completely goes away
what happened to us i heard that it's me we should blame what happened to us why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
and know that i don't hate you and know that i don't want to fight you and know that i'll always love you but right now i just don't...
i have had a really bad week.
no, seriously.
but i will not vent like i normally do.. did that already just now, and thank you for being there to listen despite ur busy schedule.
crying does help to release stress, and u will feel better after. or maybe that just works 4 me.
am under a great amount of stress now.. i know u uni pple r too..
dont u wish u could just escape it all 4 awhile, and not even think abt ur workload?
i have tried doing that by going out, procrastinating, watching tv etc. but i just end up feeling more guilty and panicking.
any advice?
Thursday, September 21, 2006
SUDDEN INSPIRATION!!
and this is the outcome.. a poem composed by yours truly in 5 minutes. now back to my work. lol.
empty cups in the sink last night had too much to drink yesterday remains a blur rediscovering what we once were listening to your heartbeat resound from your chest close my eyes, lay down to rest wishing this would never stop i now recall what i once forgot lost in silence on this night hold my hand, lets take flight maybe this dream will never end and someday you'll understand why this means so much to me you're all that i'll never be outside the rain rages on but in here we'll be safe and warm
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
im blogging 4 the sake of blogging. why is it so hard 2 get inspired these days?
i miss the memories.
Friday, September 15, 2006
some day it'll all make sense . . .
Thursday, September 07, 2006
i cant believe i spent 2yrs of my life in this sch..CATHOLIC JUNIOR COLLEGE
watching this video i dunno whether to laugh or cry..
someone should send it to brother paul (principal) and see what he has to say... lol
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
We'll do it all Everything On our own
We don't need Anything Or anyone
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know How to say How I feel
Those three words I said too much They're not enough
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time Chasing cars Around our heads
I need your grace To remind me To find my own
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am All that I ever was Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where Confused about how as well Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world
- Snow patrol: Chasing Cars -
Monday, September 04, 2006
the later part of the day (i.e this evening) was better.
you know what that means?
there's still hope that ill get outta this rut of misery!!!
alleluia.
die, bitch.
die.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
i need to rant. been doing that a lot nowadays. so let me warn u in advance, the purpose of this entry is really 4 me to vent it all out and nothing else.
u can stop reading now.
im still fucking pissed off. this week has been and still is utter bullshit. i thought i could look forward 2 the weekend but nooo... today was just as fucked. tmr, sunday is my only hope. and then its back 2 fucking monday again. i guess i should be happy that i've only got classes on 2 days. but still. whats the point of having so many days of when u fucking have so much on ur mind u cant concentrate on anything, let alone enjoy some free time 2 yourself and god knows when the last time was since u were this 'free'.
so its probably gonna be me and my books again since i'm GROUNDED - yes, u GROUNDED (whats new) again. i.e constantly being checked up by my parents and being confinded to the 4 walls of my room.
i think being an adult at 21 and being 2 do whatever u what is total bullshit as well. i mean fuck, im already 19 and u still have to control me? well, sorry if i don't live up 2 ur expectations. sorry if im stupid. and im sorry that u cant accept that fact. it would be better if i was born retarded. then you wouldnt be able 2 deny it.
i just want to do what i want. i don't want to have to answer to anyone anymore.
dont go telling me how fortunate i am to be having this and that. honestly i'd trade it all just for u to get off my back for once.
the problem is you care too much.
ok whatever. im sick of ranting abt the same thing over and over again. what difference will it make? it certainly won't make u change overnight. fuck. so now instead of looking forward to tmr im fucking dreading it.
i just don't want 2 be around you. i need my space. seriously. blame it on the teenage years and indentity seeking and whatever else u want 2 call it. i don't care.
its been so bad lately.
i wish a hole would open up in the ground right now and swallow me. im sick of dealing with stupid stuff that others dont even have 2 face. constantly having to question 'why me?' coz this is the life im born into and there's only so much i can change.
is that resignation i sense? yeah. guess i've resigned myself 2 this long ago.
im questioning my faith again. i know. again. and if God can hear me now all i ask for is 4 tmr 2b better.
