cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do nothing to lose and it's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
i think lifehouse's lead singer is quite hot.. lol
Sunday, July 30, 2006
i'm feeling it comin' over me with you it all comes naturally lost the reflex to resist and i could get used to this :)
Saturday, July 29, 2006
i think i can really be adie-hard romantic sometimes. wait - make that most of the time. close friends would probably already know this.
i dunno, just felt like blogging abt it.
i mean, sentimental things which others may find cheesy or disgusting such as a bouquet of roses and a candlelight dinner still do it 4 me. guess im just pretty old fashioned. it don't take 2 much 2 please me :)
am pleased 2 see that most of my friends r in happy, satisfying relationships (do correct me if im wrong). looking at beaming photos of couples never fails 2 make me smile, with the occasional "awww...how sweet!" comment.
i remember the 1st movie i ever cried at was "Titanic". Hey, don't laugh ok? I found it really touching, even now. It was the part when kate was being evacuated from the sinking ship in a tiny boat, and jack stood at the ship dock and looked down at her, watching her being lowered 2 safety.. then at the very last moment kate took a leap and jumped back onto the ship.. and they ran 2 each other & embraced.. and the first thing she said 2 him was "you jump, i jump.".....................................
and then i cried. ok, it didnt help that they were playing sad music in the background. seeeeeee.... i bet ur going "YUCKS" now.. fine... u pple dunno how 2 appreciate romance.. haha!!
i do however draw a line when it comes 2 chick flicks & PDAs (i.e. public displays of affection). some chick flicks are ok.. like wimbledon and bridget jones diary, 4 example. i am less tolerant towards hillary duff ones though. as 4 PDAs, some pple r just NOT cut out 4 it. i mean, leave all the action 4 the bedroom la. lol. but i guess stuff like holding hands, a peck on the cheek & a hug (NOT those you-grab-my-ass, i-touch-ur-chest ones) r acceptable. and i came up with the hug term thing btw, which rhymes pretty nicely i must admit. hahaha!!!!!
im going off topic here. u get what i mean.
now that i've said what i wanted 2 say, im off 2 surf the tv channels & see if they're any nice movies on cable tonight. i could do with a dosage of chick flick ;)
ciao!
Friday, July 28, 2006
its strange that despite all i've been thru in the past few days, i feel nothing.
its like im numb to it all.
i wonder why.
i don't really wanna say much. the past is the past. it'll be hard 2 4get. but life goes on, i guess.
more importantly, i've learnt a lot. i've learnt that i am strong. and i've learnt that a few kind words, some encouragement and a warm hug goes a mile.
thank you 4 being there 4 me. ur support meant the world 2 me at that heart wrenching point of time, and u where there throughtout 2 see me thru.
i am truly blessed.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
when ur so busy caught up in ur own life, it never really strikes u how much u miss out and leave behind.
scrolling thru friendster, clicking on pple here & there, i stumble uopn so many old friends.. pple of my past. and i find myself digging out the memories buried deep in my heart.. memories which i totally forgot or didnt even know were there.
and im struck by such a great sadness that i have 2 stop and just... think for awhile. think how i let it get 2 this stage. think abt all those i left behind, as i was rushing thru my life.
a part of me wants 2 rekindle some of those old friendships.. but i know that will never happen. i wouldnt really know where 2 start. with time the distance has grown, and once great friendships are no more, but only of the past.
maybe this is part of life.. pple walk in and out of it. only a few remain in the long run, and thats if u make an effort to keep it that way. sure u can be bestfriends, but if u let work, studies and other commitments interfere, there's never any guarantee that you'll always stay that way. that's what's so sad.
i remember all my best friends. each and every single one of them. but im ashamed that i have not made the effort 2 keep in contact. as a result, i don't even know where half of them are. the rest.. well, some i have on friendster, some i happen 2 just bump into on the streets and we pass each other by w/o even saying hello. coz maybe that ex-bestfriend of mine has forgotten me. or maybe she remembers. but there is nothing 2 say. no point in acknowledging. and with a backward glance that moment, that opportunity is gone. and it was probably my only chance.
everyone has moved on. no one really stays the same. i see my ex-best friends, friends, ex-classmates, schoolmates & acquaintences leading their own lives, making their mark and finding a place in society.
what abt me? how much have i changed? a hell lot, i'm sure. im still finding myself, in a way.
gawd, i miss those carefree times of innocence. where problems involved stupid stuff like quarrelling with the teacher cos u wanted 2 sit with a certain best friend/friend in class. how simple things were.
i'm big now. and age has opened our eyes to the real world. sometimes, i'd like 2 shut it all out.. and go back.
pple come and go.. but the memories remain forever.
Do you remember when you where 7? And the only thing that you wanted to do Was show your mum that you could play the piano Ten years have passed And the one thing that lasts Is that same old song that we played along And made my mummy cry
I miss those days and I miss those ways When I got lost in fantasies In a cartoon land of mysteries In a place you won't grow old In a place you won't feel cold And I'll sing
Da da da da da da da da da da da da Seems I'm lost in my reflection Da da da da da da da da da da da da Find a star for my direction Da da da da da da da da da da da da For the little girl inside Who won't just hide Don't let me see mistakes and lies Let me keep my faith and innocent eyes
Do you remember when you were 15? And the kids at school called you a fool Cos you took the chance to dream In the time that's past And the one thing that lasts Is that same old song that we played along And made my daddy cry
I miss those days and I miss those ways When I got lost in fantasies In a cartoon land of mysteries In a place you won't grow old In a place you wont feel cold And I'll sing
Da da da da da da da da da da da da Seems I'm lost in my reflection Da da da da da da da da da da da da Find a star for my direction Da da da da da da da da da da da da For the little girl inside Who wont just hide Don't let me see mistakes and lies Let me keep my faith and innocent eyes
- Delta Goodrem: Innocent Eyes -
here's the video for the song.. u gotta watch it. it makes me sad though. oh, delta goodrem is really pretty by the way. haha.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
at this point in time, i feel so alone.
i know anyone else reading this would be thinking: 'why does she keep going on and on abt herself?'
well, im sorry. but i really, really need an outlet 2 just let it all out. doesnt seem 2b working though.
i really need a hug right now. i need to be told that everything's gonna be ok. i need something 2 believe in.
everything just looks so dark now.
I'm all out of faith This is how I feel I'm cold and I am shamed Lying naked on the floor Illusion never changed Into something real I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn You're a little late I'm already torn
Friday, July 21, 2006
I don't think God will ever forgive me for what i'm abt to do.
I know they say God is all forgiving, and as long as you are sorry and repent you'll be forgiven.
But i have stopped praying. I've tried. I really have. But i can't. The prayers won't come. I'm just consumed by guilt all the time... and occasionally regret.
The hard truth hasn't sunk it yet. I'm not really to face it. Not at all. But to put it crudely, I've gotta get over and done with it asap. I cannot afford to wait any longer. Tonight already confirmed it.
I am so scared.
SO FUCKING SCARED.
I brought it upon myself. so now i must pay.
that's what makes it suck even more.
it's hard to be brave.
help me. please.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
sometimes it helps 2 know tt someone cares 4u. tt person can make a difference.
how would i know? well, tt's bcos i have tt special someone who cares 4 me. someone who is willing 2 listen 2 my problems, no matter how irrational or insignificant they may be.
and i am ever so thankful. words cannot express how much it means 2 me.
you keep me going.
on the way down i saw you, and you saved me from myself and i wont forget the way you love me and on the way down i almost fell right through but i held on to you
Monday, July 17, 2006
back 2 sch :-(
2day marks my final day of freedom.
sobs!
oh well. somehow, i managed 2 make the most of the hols.. majority of the days were spent running arnd spore in a shopping frenzy.. and even though the money soon ran out i was still running arnd. but window shopping of cos.
haha!
i dont wanna go back 2 the monotony of sch work, lectures, assignments and exams. not 2 mention waking up at 7am in the morning everyday.. *HUGE SIGH*
but tt's life. my screwed up life.
actually, now's the time 2b doing all the catching up with friends coz most r starting uni soon.. so who knows when or how often we'll get 2c one another. i do anticipate losing contact with a few pple here & there.. but sometimes u cant really help it when everyone's so busy with their own stuff. i mean, i barely have enough energy 2 keep me awake during lects, let alone entertain friends. so its understandable, i guess. i'll do what i can.
im spending the entire day at home 2day, 2 have some time 2 myself and just try 2 relax.
lately, i have not been on the best of behaviours, getting increasingly irritated and pissed off over the slightest things. well, not all the time, but most of the time.
looking back, i now regret my actions but the damage is done. i deprived someone of comfort due 2 my own selfishness. i hope things work out 4 tt person & 4 everyone who is going thru some sort of shit now.
ciao!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
shop till i drop
shop till i drop. literally.
im so tired!!!!!!!! but still pushing it!
hey, don't blame me 4 making the most of my 1 wk break ok!
poor wallet has lost a lot of weight lately while i am gaining from eating so much! haiiii.
never mind. i love being this busy.. the packed schedules and all. it's been a looong time :)
Monday, July 10, 2006
:-)
you make my day beautiful.
and iloveu for it.
muack! muack! muack! haha.
but seriously.. thank you.
down in the dumps
i think pple like audrey & alethea r probably really pissed off with me now.. oh well.. what 2 do? i cant please everyone. but i hope u guys understand. and im sure u had lotsa fun.
been feeling pretty down in the dumps lately. i dont know why. i should be overjoyed tt exams r over. but somehow i've gotten myself stuck in this depressive mood tt i cant really get out of. it doesnt help tt i havent been sleeping well 4 the past few days either.
am typing this in my dad's office now.. using the com there. don't ask. cant believe i actually turned down parents offer 2 take me shopping 2day. just no mood at all 4 anything. i wanna slp.
i have the whole of next wk off 2 relax and enjoy myself b4 its back 2 monotonous uni life again. i still feel its unfair tt they only give us 1 wk breaks. but looking at things on the brighter side, cutting down on all the holidays enables me 2 obtain my bachelor's degree in 2yrs instead of 3. so i save 1 whole yr. not bad a bargain, i guess. and my batch is the last 2 undergo this accelerated prog, coz now they've changed it to 3 yrs.
hmm. realise tt its been quite some time since i actually wrote a proper blog entry, like this one. tts gd.
but im stopping now.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
shopping! :)
wah lau eh.
cant stand myself. all the emo entries. but what 2 do.. stressed.
not anymore though. 1 wk break! whoot!
i went shopping 2day. town. by myself. yup. i like it that way.. coz if i go shopping with pple i can never seem 2 buy anything.
and so what if i only got 1 skirt? im happy!
i actually MISSED the crowds. beat tt. tts how deprived i've been.
tmr am meeting a whole bunch of pple at suntec marche for alethea's farewell. aiyah. will update again then.
must get my sad social life back on track.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
emo overload
i've been so emo lately.
but blame it on PMS and exam stress colliding, i guess. havent exactly been having the best of times.
i love blogging. helps relieve some of the pent up fury inside.
exams start tmr. c'mon.. its just two days.
i can do this.
i need a break.
it's always times like these when i think of you and i wonder if you ever think of me cause everything's so wrong and i don't belong living in your precious memories
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
.
you know what?
i hate you.
i still do.
yes, YOU.
i admit it ok..
i wish you'd stop intruding. just fuck off.
it's all ur fault.
Monday, July 03, 2006
pissed off
i hate the uncertainty of waiting... waiting for something that doesnt or isnt going 2 happen in the end.
and i get pissed off when i dont get what i want. its happened again.
im selfish.
im mad at myself for getting mad over something so small.
this is so fucked.
2day is gonna be just like any other. mundane and monotonous. whoopie. damn u, lady luck. where r u when i need u anyway?
its been 5 days and counting. i should applaud myself 4 holding out this long.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
"Sometimes the distance is more than two people can use"
Cards and phone calls and photograph pictures of you Constant reminder of all the things you get used to Is there a chance in hell or heaven That there's still something here to build on? Or do you just pick up the pieces after they fall?
