my name is joanne
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Friday, June 30, 2006
aches.

headache.
backache.
stomach ache.
throat ache.


heartache.




There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper


When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

Wednesday, June 28, 2006
easier to run

sometimes I remember
the darkness of my past
bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
sometimes I think of letting go
and never looking back
and never moving forward
so there'd never be a path

Sunday, June 25, 2006
overcast skies

and till now it hasnt changed -

i still have nothing to say.


i just can't seem to find the words.
if only u knew how much it hurts.

where'd you go?

I find myself trying to stay by the phone
Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot
Working my day around the call
But when I pick up I don't have much to say...

Saturday, June 24, 2006
10 irrelevant facts about me

1. i am left handed
2. i sleep on my side. and ONLY my side
3. i eat at least one apple a day, sometimes two
4. i constantly change my MSN nickname/display pic
5. i don't like my name
6. my bedroom wall is covered with class photos (pri, sec & jc)
7. i prefer cats to dogs
8. i don't wear green
9. i think sunsets are more romantic than sunrise
10. i only use nokia phones

Wednesday, June 21, 2006
(^_^)

what a difference a single phone call can make!

the problems r still there, but somehow i feel less burdened by them..

panicking

oh gawd.

im so super stressed now.

i have exams on the first wk on july.
i have 2 assignments due, both of which requires research and i havent even started on either.

oh gawd oh gawd oh gawd.

Sunday, June 18, 2006
DHT - listen to your heart

I know there's something
in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes
you've built a love but that love falls apart
your little piece of heaven turns too dark

listen to your heart when
he's calling for you
listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye

sometimes you wonder
if this fight is worthwhile
the precious moments are all lost in the tide
they're swept away and nothing is what is seems
the feeling of belonging to your dreams

listen to your heart
when he's calling for you
listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye

and there are voices
that want to be heard
so much to mention
but you can't find the words
the scent of magic
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind

listen to your heart
when he's calling for you
listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye

Saturday, June 17, 2006
secrets

if u asked me last time what i thot was the worst thing in the world, i'd have said rejection. but now i've changed my mind. its SECRETS.

u love em, and u hate em.
currently im hating them more than loving them. sure, initially its fun keeping ur lil secret 2 yourself, but after awhile, it gets tiring always having 2 watch ur back.

i know what ur thinking..stop. i didnt commit some serious murder or anything. no no no. of course not. but i do have my fair share of secrets.

doesn't everyone?


"i'll keep u my dirty little secret
don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret"


anyway back 2 the pt. i hate hate absolutely hate keeping secrets now.
so many times i feel like just letting it all out... you know..

"i can't stand that ur always _________________. ur my friend, but i hate it when u ______________________. could u pls stop???"

"can u just stop asking? the reason is bcoz _____________________________"

"i'm miserable bcoz ______________________________ and i don't know what to do. can u help me?"

"could u just shut up? i don't feel like seeing u, talking to u, let alone being nice 2u"


the lines r fill in the blanks. sometimes i just wanna say this kind of stuff 2 pple, but obviously i cant. coz they don't know anything. besides, i'd only hurt them.

it sucks keeping secrets 2 yourself, coz there's no one u can turn to. when u face a problem, u gotta deal with it yourself.

"then y bother 2 keep secrets?", you ask. the answer 4 me is simple: some things r just better left unsaid. or unknown. im just complaining abt the burden tt secrets carry with them. and when it gets 2 burdensome, u find yourself letting things slip easily. SIGH.

the only gd thing i can say abt secrets now is tt "what pple don't know won't kill them". if they don't know, they won't ask/question u.


the past few days havent been exactly wonderful. i screwed up alot. i made a hell lot of mistakes. and a hell lot of regrets.


just let me wallow in self pity now. bye

Wednesday, June 14, 2006
a vanished friend (forwarded e-mail msg)

Around the corner I have a friend
In this great city that has no end
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on
And before I know it, a year is gone.


And I never see my old friends face
For life is a swift and terrible race
He knows I like him just as well
As in the days when I rang his bell.


And he rang mine if we were younger then
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.


"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim"
"Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.


Around the corner yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir" "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end
Around the corner, a vanished friend.





Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love or like someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.

Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late.
Seize the day.

Never have regrets.
And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you
the person that you are today.

Monday, June 12, 2006
personality quiz @ www.typequiz.com/passess.htm

Personality Type Report for Joanne

Your Personality Preferences

INTROVERT
While you may not be anti-social, you do need (and deserve) your private time and space to retreat from the world. Unlike extroverts, you need to develop a concept of the world or some aspect of it before experiencing it. Too much socializing may sap your energies. Your energies are derived from exploring the inner world of ideas, impressions and pure thought.

SENSORY
You usually gather information with your senses: what you can see, hear, taste, touch and smell in the physical world. The facts gathered from the sensory data you process are the building blocks of your model of our world. You concentrate your energies on what actually exists and do not ponder what might exist too much. You are usually practical and rely on your common sense to guide you through the world. You see things as they are and have little or no need to search for underlying meanings.

JUDGING
You like decisions to be made as soon as possible. You are not comfortable with loose ends and like to see conflicts resolved as soon as possible. You have a preference for a well-structured, orderly lifestyle with few surprises. It may not be all that important who makes the decisions that gets things done as long things do get done. You take commitments very seriously. While you are not inflexible, you do like to stick to a plan once it is set into motion.

FEELING
You make decisions subjectively based upon your values and what is important to you. How people will be affected by your decisions is important to you. You are likely to make decisions based upon what you feel is acceptable and agreeable rather than what is logical. Your truths are founded in your values and those of the society you live in. It is important to remember that we are discussing how you evaluate data and make decisions, and that you rely on your feelings to do so in no way implies you are overly emotional.

Your Personality Type
Introvert/Sensing/Feeling/JudgingWhile quiet and reserved by nature, you are very warm-hearted, considerate, gentle, and trustworthy. You have a very well developed work ethic, which ensures you will complete the task before you in a timely manner. You like to help others and are very comfortable working behind the scenes to do so. Getting the job done is far more important to you than accolades for a job well done. You are detail oriented and meticulous in your work habits. Even small mistakes haunt you. While you are not one to give orders, you are very supportive of those around you.

In relationships you are kind, considerate, and show your affection by fulfilling the needs of those you love. You want a comfortable life for yourself and your loved ones and will do what you can to make your lives so. You like a structured lifestyle with well defined goals. You avoid hurting others. Your need to feel needed can keep you in unhealthy relationships with overly needy people.

Famous People of Your Type:
Louisa May Alcott, Lord Tennyson, Barbara Bush, Charles Dickens, Queen Elizabeth II of England, Robert E. Lee, Queen Mary I.

Occupations Suited to Your Type Include:
Bookkeeper, clerical specialist, computer operator, counselor, curator, dental hygienist, medical assistant, nurse, office manager, optician, paralegal, retailer, secretary, teacher, and veterinarian.

Saturday, June 10, 2006
gss!! :)

GREAT SINGAPORE SALE!!!!!!!!!!!

whoots!!

wishlist:
1) new pair of levi's jeans - $100+
2) more tshirts - $100
3) shoes - $20+
4) anna sui perfume - $70
5) cd - $20+

haha.

SO BUSY!! everyday it's just in and out of sch.

but being the guai girl tt i am, even though i pon lessons i still go home & study k!! coz sometimes i feel tt no pt going 4 lessons when the teacher is just gonna read the stuff from the lect slides & i might as well read the textbk by myself.

yar. so this is an irrelevant entry.

guys POP already..gd la. then all the girlfriends happy. haha. im happy 4u all oso. but now got bf 2 accompany u then all pang sei me rite? no need!

aiyah. need 2 prepare 4 exams & complete assignments anyway.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006
new blogskin! - pride&prejudice

weeee!

i have a new blogskin again!

its based on the movie 'pride & prejudice' starring keira knightley. funny thing is, i've never even seen it. just like the skin alot though.. its pretty.. :)

this month, i have 2 tests and 2 assignments due. arghhh.
i'm also beginning to skip lessons again. hmmm...

Sunday, June 04, 2006
the 5C's: car ride, chomp chomp, crazy shopping, city hall, cash strapped.

pple i met today:
1) audrey
2) lester
3) laura
4) alethea
5) alethea's cousin
6) justina
7) maple
8) samuel
9) benny

places i went:
1) city hall
2) citylink
3) marina square
4) serangoon mrt
5) serangoon gardens - chomp chomp food centre
6) serangoon gardens - church
7) serangoon gardens - park

things i learnt:
1) maple's car ride = roller coaster
2) chomp chomp is freaking crowded. no wonder i dont eat there despite living so nearby.
3) maple's crush stays damn near me
4) u get a really gd view of the starry sky at the park
5) i miss my classmates
6) guys = NS
7) i can't do monkey bars anymore
8) tekong is really haunted
9) laura is a crazy shopper. and she spends money like water
10) don't piss alethea off too much
11) aud & benny look really sweet together. aww ;)
12) petrol is expensive
13) maple's car can fit 6 pple altogther

resolutions:
1) learn how to drive. don't ask when.
2) eat less
3) visit my park more often to star gaze
4) organise a BBQ???


guys, we gotta do this again sometime soon.
haven't had this much fun in AGES :)

for full and detailed updates, see audrey's blog.